May 20 (thursday): full of vigor, full of optimism....not. Last night was a sickener and now I feel I have something tangible to worry about regarding work. And my course isn't going very well is it. Still, I have touched base with someone on my course and that's something of an achievement for me. My train ride to London is chipper and the Moyles effect is a good one, the radio genuinely works in the morning and relieves the potentially hour long horror trip. I pick up the Metro and today is Paul Ifill's guide to the Millwall team, it makes me excited. Today when I arrive at Shepherd's Bush Phoebe is already there and she looks up and says "hello". She then sits prompt, ready for conversation. So what do I do? I read my paper and listen back to Moyles on the radio. First break though I make amends and communicate and she actually apologies for not talking first thing, "I'm not a morning person". Bloody hell. She asks me how football went, she remembered. I tell her about my hell but twist it into something (I'm actually quite good at that). Today we talk and its even better than yesterday, wow warmth from a stranger. At lunchtime we tells me all about her kick boxing and tells me about all the different kicks. I react possibly over enthusiastically but whatever this is great, it sounds like what she does is WWF (I will NEVER call it WWE). I fish around for personal details, no new on any boyfriends yet but she does have a sister. Did I mention we discussed pets already? Now that's language/communication that verges on sub-adult. From a learning perspective my course is going to shit, I am learning nothing but with this person on hand I am having the time of my life.

Obviously then by the time it reaches this weeks session I am feeling very good about things. I apologise for my behaviour last week but the good doctor doesn't seem too concerned. I tell her about my work woes and how I fear for my job. She reckons it (the situation) doesn't sound so bad. I dunno, its hard to say. I tell her about Phoebe, this person I have just met and really would like to get to know better, its obvious thats why my mood has swung so positively. We also discuss vitamins and St John's Wort some more (she now turns me onto Cod Liver Oil tabs). She could recommend dried dog turd and I'd probably try it.

Aftershow I head to the supermarkets, sadly my number one out the house activity these days (and I bet I am not alone in suffering from that). Wrongly I feel good and buy expensive and excessive chinese chicken wings from Asda. I also head to Tesco and buy Jack mag, which is unnecessary as I already have enough reading material.

I waste the rest of the evening, I don't struggle and fall asleep almost immediately.