June 6 (D-Day Sunday): I wake up screaming (not quite but y’know). I had a dream about Stevo crashing over at my flat (as he does) and totally taking it over, going through all my stuff (including my diary) and causing so much havoc we end up smacking the shit out of each other. Once that was over (I won), I hear my neighbours (two older ladies) telling me off, telling me that I am a bad/loud neighbour and that is why people are moving out (two flats are currently up for sale after the one that sold for £95,000 a few weeks ago). From there one of the ladies takes me out for a Sunday dinner and she gives me advice akin to my shrink. Don’t like it.

Once up, I immediately MSN Sara. She makes light of all my woes and I’m not overly amused. And worse she tells me in text message language “sweet dream = shag me�. I am so gullible.

Bad news: my belly button is dripping. I don’t know why, I don’t know what I did. I guess I’m ill.

I can no longer study/revise in the flat (Bohemian Grove) so I opt to sneak into Chernobyl (the office) and work from there. It goes so so but can’t I go one day without seeing Colchester’s equivalent of Ian Huntley and Maxine Carr? I also see Lindsey, who is cheekily parking at the office on a Sunday. Looks like she had been shopping with her, limited fun to be had there I’d imagine. I also find Stevo has left me a Panini Euro 2004 sticker book and stickers which is equally as cool as it is weird. He the man! Things soon go a bit pear shaped when it turns out I have forgotten to bring some very important stuff so back home I head but not before procrastinating and pumping up my the rear tyre on my car and buying a day old sandwich for lunch from Tesco. Back in the flat I MSN Sara some more, being a bit arsey and a bit of a tosser. This continues when I text her from the office when I get bored mid afternoon. I text Azmei too, I basically text anyone except Phoebe for whom I can’t think of anything good enough to say. I suspect I really piss Sara off by texting her “sweet dreams� and “fuck me� when she is obviously with her (latest) boyfriend. Ho ho.

However by five it is Disney time, they are showing Dragonslayer on BBC2, which I don’t recall being overly good but it fuck it it’s got the guy from Ally McBeal embarrassingly young and naïve starring in it. EXCEPT it gets postponed due to the fucking tennis.

I’m struggling to gauge just how well revision really is going and the time is coming when it needs to be on as in two days time they shall begin. The progress per my Excel revision plan states: Audit 39%, Tax 21% and Overall 30%. However I will make the 50% target tomorrow on Audit but is gaining 11% in one day really an accurate measure of accomplishment/achievement? I dunno, so instead I bid on a Region 1 copy of Ciao! Manhattan on Ebay. Very gay.

All this though, it’s nothing because Phoebe texts in the evening to tell me how cool the new Virgin Alice Cooper/mingers advert is, which I told her was cool. Pretty good. And ironically a Julia Stiles film is on tv tonight.

The day ends with me laughing my tits off at Steve Claridge at Weymouth. He should never have left Millwall. Or gambled two million away but that’s another story. It is almost 10pm and it is SO WARM!

np Mike Watt – Chinese Firedrill