October 14 (Thursday): Who Let You In? Dream: I go on a day trip to what turns out to be Disneyland in Florida, although it isn't very recognisable, looking more like a tube station in London. I go as part of a four person party including myself, Mark, Ben, Chris, Stevo and Tom (you do the math). Towards the end of the day I find myself exclusively with Mark and it begins to get chilly and the mother/daughter combo from my English course begin talking to me, the mother especially, in an attempt to get my coat from me (I have two layers and am not cold). Eventually she gets it from/off me and when it becomes time to leave I can’t get it back, although I don’t mind because it means hanging (inadvertently) with the daughter who I semi fancy. Eventually the old man comes along and I get my coat back and we leave “Disneyland� as it gets to closing time, the exit being like a foyer in a cinema. When we get back after our daytrip to Disneyland Florida (!) four of us sit talking over a table at Wilson Marriage Centre and one of the downys I recognise at the centre from ten years ago recognises me and begins talking to me. Ten years on, he appears to have recovered (or at least improve mentally) and I/we have a nice conversation, pure and optimistic.

I wake, dry throated but surprisingly without a hangover. I hit Sara on MSN for a few words from Australia. After a prolonged exchange, it turns out that she might be coming back to England for a couple of weeks in November. I should be excited but instead I am filled with dread.

I have discovered the first Foo Fighters record in the biggest way, with hindsight it is SO good

Hard times. These are the days that get sent to test us. I think by rights, I really really should have woken up this morning with some kind of minor hangover/headache, especially considering my dry throat but no, my mind comes clear as can be. The walk into work turns out to be a breeze when stand-in DJ Scott Mills cheers me up by playing Estelle and the new Graham Coxon singles ("Freakin' Out") which some reason this morning (unlike previously) sounds amazing.

At work today, I need a solid day after slacking yesterday afternoon after getting back from Kentford/Kennett and really need to get Acme Sheds done and dusted, which really is within the realms of reality providing I work on it solidly.

The day however takes a turn for the worst when Melchard phones over to Chernobyl (our office, division 2) asking Stevo to tell me to go up into the loft in the main office for him. Oh yeah, that'll happen. That actually is really taking the piss, what possible part of his mentality deems it sensible to get me to up sticks, go all the way over to our other office and root around in the loft, where Jack has previously stated I am too heavy to go up into anyway. I become belligerent, happy to let the request drift and float away, probably being passed onto to someone more appropriate. Stevo however does not let it go, instead taking it as a lack of respect to his authority and he promptly goes over the road to comply with the request on behalf of myself and Sandip, who then gets dragged into the whole issue. Talk about a storm in a tea cup but when Stevo goes up into the loft himself, the issue gets blown out of proportion and for the remainder of the morning a very nasty, hostile atmosphere is born, causing chilly me to become paranoid to the point that I don't want to go into the main office for being collared and reprimanded for my apparent lack of respect and distinct disregard for orders. As I say, storm in a tea cup but when Stevo returns from whinging to Melchard having been told "you should excerpt your authority" and Sandip returns after being asked "why wouldn't you go up" and then telling me "you're in trouble", I just look vacantly into space like Tim in The Office in one of his mind-blowing, jobsworthy disbelief moments. Eventually Melchard comes over to our office to do something with Emma, and a now paranoid to the hills Jason braces himself for a bout of shit, which only fails to happen as Melchard and myself only exchange salutations. When he leaves the office, Stevo cannot believe he has not gotten me into trouble and Sandip makes comment "he's scared of you" which regards to Melchard. Like fuck he is and after all this drama, I suspect this may come back to haunt me at some point. Once more Manager Steve upsets the roost. Give him a book/course/lesson on assertiveness vs aggressiveness.

By lunchtime, the day has been an utter grind and when I am able to get some fresh air and spend some time on my own, it is much relief. As I stagger around town drained, I bump into Emily from frisbee in Marks & Spencers. As usual she is a glow of energy and at least acknowledges (these days I couldn't want/desire more from a person). As I act near comatose (nice one), she mentions the Sunday night quiz and asks me if I'm going this week and that I should go, even if Mark isn't about now (to hold my hand with the frisbee bods). She gives me her number so I can.....whatever.....before the quiz. I act so goofy, it is embarrassing and when I leave, I storm out in a hurry, accidentally knocking some garments on the floor. They're old granny clothing and I don't want to fucking touch them, so I ask a nice lady near me to hang it up for me. Dickhead.

I wind up buying lunch from Boots, a very unhealthy looking chocolate sundae after a three piece chicken sandwich (where did my health kick/streak/trend/fad go?).

Fortunately for my remaining sanity, the afternoon pretty much passes without incident, I large to everyone about getting a girl's phone number and get Acme Sheds done and dusted. Louise happens to mention that she used to have Emily's mum teach her English at Tendring High School, so this gives me an excuse to text her, just if it is to just inadvertently give her my number. Still though, all afternoon Stevo and I hurl insult after insult and muddy abuse at eachother, to the point that when it gets to home time, he doesn't even want to give me a lift home. Whoops.

When I get in, after my laboured half hour walk, my computer is playing up royally, refusing to go back online and download any lovely new MP3s and/or the latest episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 that I am downloading. My phone beeps though and it is a reply from Emily (cool, she didn't stiff me with a bum number) saying "Cool. My crazy mum is famous! What the name of the girl who knows her? Make sure you come to the quiz! Emily x".

Before my English class, I do however get chance to watch tonight's episode of The Apprentice. Seems old Donald Trump has been hard at it and since monday, Tammy is no longer on the show and has been fired. I fucking fancied the arse off Tammy. Tonight the utterly revolting Omarosa (or something) finally gets kicked to the curb, about five episodes too late it seems to me.

English class this week is really really hard work, I feel utterly exhausted and too tired to give it any heart, I am very much lacking in enthusiasm, especially for the poetry of Christina Rossetti. At least however though, this week Emma is back in class. Early on we get our essays handed back to us and teacher says their standard was very encouraging. I worry about getting mine back and when I do my mark is a "strong C/low B". Not bad! Cheers me up some. Sadly however, she later breaks us up into groups which means I can't sleep my way through this week's class, I have to actually participate. I wind up in a group with the Timothy guy from Thorpe who appears to be class pet and the girl who comes to the class with her mum who I recognise from a pissed night out last year when I semi fancied her and she turned out to be a friend of Loxley’s brother Jeff Tim. Our little team hardly sparks though and we come up with limited ideas, my particularly limited as I just don’t get/enjoy poetry. Luckily though we get saved by the bell before we have to speak to the class and we live for another week.

When I get in, a drama called Sex Traffic about Eastern European prostitution has already started. It is grim as fuck but all the more interesting for it.

My evening ends with a real personal horror as my every flailing PC dies, the hard drive/disk is just full to the brim and I can do nothing about it. I am now experiencing problems with my PC due to broadband that I never had prior to installing the software. Hard times.

np: Graham Coxon - Freakin'Out