July 3 (Saturday): Today could kick off.  I awaken foul, slightly hard headed from drinking too much with Stevo…..again!  However, if I don’t accomplish anything else today, I do have to retrieve my car from Creffield Road (Mark’s) by 12.30. 

So where does today begin?  Enter the usual ritual of BBC news on a Saturday morning before as much kid’s telly as I can stomach before physically vomiting.  This morning I see Girls Aloud and spend all my viewing trying to work out which one it is that beats up blacks.  And this is followed by Sabrina The Teenage Witch not looking very teenage anymore.  I turn to the safety of my Stone Cold Steve Austin autobiography and then Sara hits me on MSN.  And the day officially begins proper…..

Today was the day I was supposed to go out with Phoebe.  As I view Video Nasty websites, I also get into one with Sara telling her, like a lot of girls, she is “just a player, acting out her Sex And The City fantasy.  She turns on me a decides to me home truths about me and here we have yet another person telling me that I need a change of scenery and that I need to go travelling.  It seems to me that that is the answer to everybody’s problems, which I kind of see as escapism.  To be honest I can’t see how people are able just to up and go travelling for six months.  I guess they don’t have the restraints off mortgages or financing but how on earth do people afford it in the first place?  Beats me.  So when Sara is selling the idea to my for the tenth time I really am not too interested and rather bullish about it.

I go to collect my car for midday with all these thoughts racing in my mind, ultimately other people’s lifestyles,  they’re just not for me.  I MSN some more with Sara and she is a bit apologetic.  I am quiet because I am thinking/considering what she has been saying to me however she takes this as me being pissed off at her.

Eventually in late afternoon I go home to see the olds and do my bit and get my washing done for another week.  I copy my new Nick Cave CDs onto their PC and that’s about it.  I probably over stay my welcome but two episodes of Malcolm In The Middle followed by two episodes of the Simpsons I have never seen before ensures I want to stay home until 9pm.

I get home in time to watch a tv program on Channel Four about gay people in comedy.  For some reason this interests me.  Tom MSNs me for a bit but then I get a text message from Sara saying: “One last thing.  If in 10 years time we are still in the same predicament that we are both still in shall we get married and have children…..id hate 2 leave this world with no devil spawn of my own!  Im serious in a joke friends kinda way…..and you are the only non family man i actually show my true self with!  Besides your ma and pa love me already ha heâ€�.  Scared.

My night ends in hilarity.  I catch the repeat of Bo Selecta and this show just gets funnier, Kat Slater with trotters getting hit on by Pete Beale.  Genius.  The best though, the Bear At Bedtime transported to The Bear’s Celebrity Tails and him being in Jamie Oliver’s kitchen doing a spot on impression of Gordon Ramsey and Steven the squirrel making a salad (“what kind of fucking kitchen is this with a squirrel cutting lettuce, he’s fucking verminâ€�).  Love it, like I love you.

np:  Nick Cave – Do You Love Me?