September 24 (National Dating Day Friday): Bevalaqua. Today’s awakening comes drenched in depression. I have a dream about my English class/course and Webb does feature in it but mainly it suggests to me concern over my apparent failure to mix in the group it seems. I hate feeling so low. B also features in my dream, I guess another representative of a group I do not fit in (ho ho).

After the bad start emotionally (for whatever reasons) I feel at least able to throw some of my bad fortune off the top of a tall building when Azmei gets in touch and offers to meet me at 12.30 for a “drink�.

Yet again, I leave home late and arrive at work late, as one of my managers at Wood & Disney used to say “you should never be late twice in one day�. Whoops. I arrive at work and can feel that I have made a really bad job of shaving. Fortunately people don’t generally touch to see and I will probably manage to go all day without anyone noticing.

Today Stevo is not a work so it is likely to be a bit of a snorer and also a prime opportunity to get some work done. Early on Cris comes over tells me that we are going to have to go over to Pipeline again because nothing has been done to it since I work hard on it early summer and he just promptly ripped what I did to it to shreds and I lost complete interest in the job. When Cris asks me to go over there, he gives off a pained expression that I don’t think I have ever seen on him before. I really don’t want to get involved with this job again but I will, I’m a good guy and very capable of doing it.

Early morning, Andy from Hays phones me again and now we are negotiating properly with Rose Calendars. It seems they are a no no for coughing up any study fees, so its time to compromise. He asks me “what if they won’t give any study support?� and I him that I will have to “decline�. I then tell him that the days they’re giving off to me for “study� are actually holiday days surely. He leaves it at the point where he is now asking them for an extra thousand on my salary.

Today I get a long email from Phoebe, she sounds looser and happier than usual, happy to talk. I point out to her that she sounds happier than usual and she pretty much goes “well I’m not�. All right then grumper.

This morning I look on GPRS internet and discover that the Big Boss Man has just died. Oh no! People are dropping like flies.

I meet Azmei for lunch but its just for a drink, meaning I get a half hour with her until one PM when she goes for lunch with her cunt sister. Actually, when Azmei turns up at the office, her sister is with her but she does not hang out. Which is nice. I go to Costa with Azmei and have the largest cappuccino going (which later gives me a real buzz). I sit down with Azmei and have so much to say, so much to talk about, the half hour flies by full of actual content (as opposed to our last lunch which was a real non-versation). When we are done, we walk into town slightly and I/we meet up with her sister. Remember now, her sister wildly told me that she would force her sister to choose between me and her last week but now it doesn’t appear to have happened. Awkwardly I see her sister and go “hello� and then go “bye�. That was hard.

However, I don’t fucking care, the BIG cappuccino caffeine sees me flying for the remainder of the day. After lunch, my first stop off is at the new, refurbished Virgin Megastore and it is lush! And not least for the additional DVD sections now and the sudden appearance of the entire Relic Hunter back catalogue. Yes! While in there, I see the Ipswich Town fan from my English class, whose thunder I think I may have stolen by being a Millwall fan. We look at eachother briefly but don’t acknowledge eachother (fine by me).

Winter is coming and I really need a new coat. My coat itself is ok but since mum cut the fucking ripped lining out (duh) it currently looks a fucking mess. So basically, I am looking around town for a coat exactly the same as my current one. And can I find it? Can I fuck! Where on earth are all the decent coats? Maybe first of all I need to find the decent stores.

I wander back into the office and have a fairly doss afternoon. Today I have come to the conclusion that all my favourite words begin with the letter “C�. And in my hyperactive afternoon, not least as a result of Stevo not being around, sees me quote “good moods don’t suit me do they?�. Very rhetorical.

At some point over the afternoon Ivan comes over to Chernobyl and “Out Of My League Girl� (© Azmei) that works in Wellington House and walks past our office every day turns out to actually be called “Natalie�. Great, I now have a moniker for the person I perv over.

With work out of the way at 5pm, I run (not walk) into town to pick up some more Relic Hunter DVDs.

My day however becomes stunted when I wind up having a real no no evening. My early evening mainly consists of battered MSN with Sara (with me being PM Jason, in other words Nice Jason) followed by some MSN with Bella. I also put up with the standard Friday night fare on TV and suddenly feel devoid of a life and purpose. Nevermind.

np: Seals & Croft – Summer Breeze